she who keeps this diary

03 February 2006 - 12:09 PM

Just tired

I'm tired.

I'm just tired.

Part of the problem is that the Viking is not yet back on anyone's payroll. which makes him anxious and unhappy and when he is anxious and unhappy, he doesn't sleep well. Then I don't sleep well and have trouble with being anxious and unhappy too.

And that, of course, does not improve his mood.

It doesn't, of course, help that it is still winter and dark and both of us are prone to seasonal depression.

It also doesn't help that an acquaintance started a conversation with me in which she hinted, strongly, that I am representative of everything wrong with women today, expecting unreasonably to manage family and career, going contrary to my nature by 'refusing' to 'submit' to men, and thus emasculating all men everywhere.

For the record, this individual is younger than I am, and not an evangelical Christian, though what she's saying comes out sounding like a caricature of an elderly church lady. She is a professed 'sub' in a dom/sub relationship, maybe that has something to do with it. I dunno.

I do know this probably wouldn't even have bugged me if the Viking weren't out of work. He doesn't like it when I'm paying all the bills. But that, I also know, is a 'we are partners' thing, not a power struggle thing or a dom/sub thing. I know he didn't marry me because I'm a shrinking violet.

Still, her attitude was the last thing I really needed.

On the other hand, the Viking did have an interview yesterday and felt it went very well. And we noticed a quirk of the calendar, too. He was fired on Yule. He had an interview on Imbolc, and he's always had a particular devotion to the goddess Brigid -- She's part of why he became a nurse in the first place. The wheel turns -- could it be our luck will turn with it?

I sure hope so.

verso - recto

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