My Bandanna Is Really a Camera

Even some non-divine things, like my employer, move in mysterious ways.

I, and two other people in my department who started about the same time I did, received notices in the last week that we had failed to fill out one piece or another of the necessary paperwork to get our security clearances.

Um. Excuse me? I need a security clearance?

I understand, I am a federal employee, and more to the point, I am a cog in a regulatory machine. I write law.¹ This is heady stuff.

On the other hand, I'm writing laws that impose quarantines for fruit flies and fire ants. Not exactly the kind of thing that draws a lot of press.

The mind boggles. Was I really hired for my language skills? Am I going to be assigned covert missions to FMD-affected countries? Will I need to go into deep cover behind the Iron Barn Doors?

I shouldn't joke overmuch. Security is a concern, and in the current climate an active security clearance can be a lucrative thing. But I just don't see it being essential here. My chief doesn't even have a security clearance.

But if I don't update for an extended period of time, you'll know what's happened. I'm participating in cloak-and-pitchfork operations.

¹ Contrary to what your high school civics book may have implied, there are three kinds of law: statutory law (what Congress makes); regulatory law (what executive branch agencies make when Congress gives them statutory authority to do so); and common law (which in the US is primarily the jurisdiction of the courts, in the form of precedent).

verso - recto